2013~

the last day of 2012, i live as usual, work as usual, and just let the time passed. when i flash back, i really gained a lot of experiences in this year. i learnt to know, don't trust anybody, but must let everyone trust on you. and also, i had learn how to be more independent. plus, i learnt that never change but always be my self. i also had learn how to let go those things that never belong to me, and also never ever force my self or giving much pressure for let everything gone bad. i went to north and south of malaysia this year and it's very great experiences for me. i tried all my best to achieve the best in my career and it's great. boss and managers feel happy for me as i did improved my self now. i really appreciated what they did and help to me. i am really feel thankful to god that i joined this company as it's taught me a lot about society life. i never thought of becoming a salesman before because i dislike to communicate with peoples. however, i tried, to like this job, because it's really helpful for my future.

this is what i got in the year of 2012, and start from 2013, i want to beyond my self. this year, my boss will send me to work and handle in sabah market. i will appreciate this chance and try my level best, so that his trust on me is worth. if really everything can go through, and my target in this company has reached, i will try to move on, to my dream place. maybe it's early for me to plan, but, someday i will do it~ happy new year 2013 to everyone anyway because we are survivors from 2012~^^

the revert clockwise~

ㄅㄆㄇㄈㄉㄊㄋㄌㄍㄎㄏ　ㄅㄆㄇㄈㄉㄊㄋㄌㄍㄎㄏㄐ
ㄅㄆㄇㄈㄉㄊㄋㄌㄍㄎㄏ　ㄅㄆㄇㄈㄉㄊㄋㄌ
迷迷濛濛　你給的夢　出現裂縫　隱隱作痛
怎麼溝通　你都沒空　說我不懂　說了沒用
他的笑容　有何不同　在你眼中　我不再受寵
我的天空　是雨是風　還是彩虹　你在操縱

恨自己真的沒用　情緒激動
一顆心到現在還在抽痛
還為分手前那句抱歉　在感動

穿梭時間的畫面的鐘　從反方向　開始移動
回到當初愛你的時空　停格內容　不忠

所有回憶對著我進攻　我的傷口　被你拆封
誓言太沉重淚被縱容　臉上洶湧　失控

RAP~ 城市霓虹　不安跳動　染紅夜空
過去種種　像一場夢　不敢去碰　一想就痛
心碎內容　每一秒鐘　都有不同　你不懂
連一句珍重　也有苦衷　也不想送

寒風中　廢墟煙囪　停止轉動　一切落空
在人海中　盲目跟蹤　別人的夢　全面放縱
恨沒有用　療傷止痛　不再感動　沒有夢
痛不知輕重　淚水鮮紅　全面放縱


although i don't really like jay chou, but this old song was really meaningful~

end of the world (if)

dooms day, as been predicted by mayan calendar, stated that this is the end of the world, or the new age of the earth. some stated that the world will turned to darkness for 3 days 3 night that without the sunlight. some also stated that there are many disasters such as tsunami, earthquake, volcano exploding, big storm, tornado, ice age etc. everyone know it's not true. but, who knows? who know that someday it will comes suddenly without our own knowledge?


let's say if there is the end of the world, what will i do then? sometimes i will think about it, do i still working as usual, and dead without knowing it already happened? or maybe it happened when i was sleeping and never wake up anymore after that? its really unpredictable.... however, i will still think that, before the end of the world, the first thing that i want to do is, accompany my family to enjoy our last reunion dinner. other thing is, i will create a farewell party to everyone, and lets celebrate our life before it's end. and then, i also will call to everyone that i used to know, and tell them that, nice to meet y'all in my life. and one last thing is, maybe, i will tell someone that i used to love before, and scream it loud that, i still love you although it's coming to be ended forever. ^^ afterthat, i will sit down, closing my eyes, and waiting the end coming.

sounds crazy what i wrote here, but anyway, i am telling the truth here before it happened as it won't be late as i tell my wish here. =)

decided

after more than a year, i finally decided to do something that i won't do, but i did it now. maybe it's a bit cruel, but i think it for very long time, since it was for my own good. the scar inside heart, should be back to normal now. my birthday has passed, and new life is begin now~^^

month 7

unconsciously, i worked in this company for seven months. what i can describe it right here is, i did what i wanted to do. i hit my sales target per month, improved my knowledge, experience, communication skills, and business skills. my boss and managers, encouraged me to stay in this company because i am the person that they are looking for in the past few years, to handle the south malaysia. my boss is also wish that i can learn everything here to help him, to developed his company into big company in the future. can i do that? i am not sure yet. i knew they are good enough to me, and never let me disappointed before, because they are willing to help me, in no matter how worst is the problem that i was facing.

everyone in this company was really good to me, and i was happy to work at here, if compare with those previous jobs that i worked before. for the first 4 months, i am stress because i didn't perform well, and always didn't reach sales target. i always think about, it's time for me to quit, since i am useless for this company. however, my manager never gives up on me, so do my boss. they still wish that i can continue to perform well. and finally, i tried my level best to achieve the best of the best. i hit my sales target during month five, and i really happy about this. and the next month, i always get a lot of sales that even my manager cant achieve, although i didn't outstation for few weeks. this is what i can see that i really improved my self. although i am not perfect enough for sales, but my service level, i really improved it. i just did what my customers demand, and do it best for them. and this is also the perfect feedback that i achieved from them, fast and perfect.

some of peoples will ask, why i still want to work at here, when my salary was just normal, bad management, tough and stressful. i should get a better job because it's really worthless. okay, i admit it's not worth. my position in this company was sales and marketing executive. but during peak season, i have to work as storekeeper, production worker, transporter, and everything. what is my exact position right here? and how is my pay? i should get a job that with higher paid! but let's think twice, what about if i think to create my own business in the future? is this all worth for me to do, to learn, achieve, experienced, and make it well in the future business of my self. even if i didn't create my own business, and what about if i work in big company in the future, with the experience that i achieve now? of course it will be much more helpful rather than any degree holder.

i am still not sure how long i will still be here, but anyway, i really improved and grew up a lot since i worked here. thank you very much, LIM, FELIX, RYAN, KIM, and JACK. just keep it up!

1117

17th november, when he looked it back on this date, he found that, it's already a past, that he never wanted to think anymore. 2 years ago, a simple guy, with simple mind, dated a girl that he loved, for the only first time, at the beach. he woke up in the early morning, received a message from the girl, she is ready to enjoy this date. both of them feel awkward with each other, while dating on the beach. the wind is getting stronger, and going to blow her away. in the moment, the guy, block the wind and put her on behind, but just only one thing he didn't do, hold her hand, and hug her tight. the girl looked happy while together with him, so do the guy. he sent her back home together with her dog. on the way back to her hostel, he tried to hold her hand, but he was shy to do it. but then, this date, just ended in this way. however, this guy was happy, although it's not perfect enough.

he created a song, that named, "first date", to describe his feeling on this first date to the girl. this was the sweetest memories, as he will never forget, but also it's hurt deeply inside heart, when he looked it behind again. just because, he never wonder, after 2 years, he is alone again, but the girl, is happy with better one. therefore, he always decided to work hard during november in his working life, to cover the sadness and memories behind of him. there is no birthday yet for him, until he can truly forget about the one that let him remember his birthday.

the very first

it's november now, and i found that the time, is passed very fast. it's a good month for me, and it's also contained a lot of memories for me. a friend was asking, "what will you do, if one day you saw your ex-girlfriend alone again, and you still love her again?" i don't know. maybe, i will restart again, or just make it nothing has happened. what i can say about her is, she gave me the sweetest memories, gave me a lot of lessons, and let me understood what is love, and what is the feeling of getting deep hurt. when i think back again, i am the most stupid lover, that don't know how to care about her, talk to her, and i am the worst guy ever.

what can i see nowadays, she is happy, and getting happier, with her new life. this is the main reason, that i will never find her anymore. promise, memories, and everything, have to turned into past tense. i don't know what will happen in the future, but just what i can write here is, i wish that you will be happy always as i like to see. ^^

给"成熟"了的朋友的忠告

几年前，我们是有心事，就分享。难过，开心，都是一起去面对的。当我们毕业了以后，我们都各走各的，寻找目标去了。这一年多以来，我们见面的次数，比以往少得很多。就连话题，也慢慢的减少了，不像以前那么疯癫，热闹。当然，我们的思想，多少也变得很多了。至于成熟了没有呢，我本身给自己的观念，我还是很嫩的。虽然很多人觉得，我成熟了。但是对我而言，我还在成长中的。成熟，是怎样得来的？有人说是从工作，爱情，喝酒，抽烟，赌博会让自己成熟起来。我不认同这种说法，也更看不起认为会这些东西就已经成熟了的人。这一年多以来，我做错过事，被人出卖过，被人辱骂，被人欺骗，也被人排侧。同时，我也面对失业，失恋。但是，我并不灰心。我知道的是，我还年轻。我还有很遥远的路要走。失败乃是成功之母，我永远只记得这句话。同时，也是这句话带动我勇敢地去面对困难，好让我可以成长，成熟。过去的，难过的，一定要放得下，我们才可以看得到将来。

今年要二十二岁了，思想，已经摆脱与超越这个年龄了。爱情，永远比不上家人的关心。别人的同情，永远比不上自己的坚强与自尊心。麻醉自己，是连懦夫都不如的做法。隐藏，是损害自己与身边的人的一个开始。自杀，是连狗都不如，也不值得父母生下的种。

试问一下，我面对车祸的时候，谁最关心我？前女友？朋友？也不是，而是把我生得十全十美，然后被我自己搞破坏的妈妈，以及我哥哥们。我失恋的时候，谁同情了我？好朋友？女性朋友？也不是，而是时间。是时间改变了我的想法，让我踏进新的开始。我失业的时候，谁安排工作给我？朋友？旧同事？不对，而是耐心。耐心让我在那两个月里面，见识了各种各样的老板，工作，以及人迈关系。我工作被欺负的时候，谁可以理解我？朋友？家人？也不对，而是改变。改变，让我学习了独立，学习了应付各种各样的人。同时，我选择了不要退缩。退缩，与逃避现实的懦夫真的很没两样。当我面对死亡的时候，是谁唤醒差点断气的我？医生？护士？来院的家人与朋友？不对，是我爸的灵魂。我感受到他的存在，也知道他不会要我去陪他的。以前我很不怕死，但是现在，我怕了。我怕会失去所有的一切，然后就这样的离去。算命师说过我面对着血光之灾，随时会没命。不过当我面对几次意外的时候，我很清醒又很勇于面对的说，要我命的话，就来，别玩弄我的命运！

为何我会写这篇文章？理由很简单。因为我想让某些“成熟”了的朋友知道，他的成熟，有没有面对过我所面对的这些状况。我也想让他知道，我天方百忙都好，我还是会很真心地关心你这么一位朋友。别再留在堕落的世界里了，醒过来吧！我们还有很遥远的路要走着呢！

always

happy mid autumn~

today, is mid autumn, as known as mooncake festival....in the past few years, i like to bake mooncake together with my mom.... especially bake it to the one that i loved. but this year, i just look at the ingredients, and just do my works and never think about past life. few years ago, everyone said i am childish, crazy and not mature like a kid. and now, their view on me is totally changed. mature, positive thinking, patience, was just their view at me now. maybe this is due to my working life has changed me.... travel alone, eating alone, sleep alone, sad alone, emo alone.... i learnt how to be independent and getting more in positive mind set now. anyway, the moon is round, shining, and beautiful tonight. this song is suitable to describe the moon tonight. ^^

future

I didn't back to my home for almost half month. I have work and meet those customers that no matter good or bad, fussy or friendly, kind or bloodyful, polite or asshole, etc.I am getting improve my self a lot this time, and I gain more experiences about premium items. I am not really sure whether its my interest or not, or its related to my future? But I will still think for next step when I feel tired someday. Career is unpredictable now for me.

About love, I am still looking for it. I can get a girl friend, but what I can be very sure is, it won't last long. I knew because I can feel it by self. I much prefer to find the one that can be my wife, but not the one that I wasted her time. I suddenly feel, single is really bored during this age. I just wish someday I can end it. That's all for my life during outstation~

favorite scene~

我比从前更寂寞

这首歌，很有意思。从前的快乐，只能回味罢了。现在无论是压力，难过，生气，等等都好，也得一个人承受。关心，同情，是怎样的，我真的忘了。友情，爱情，是怎样的，我也没什么感觉了。现在可以感觉的就是，我懂得自爱，学会独立，尊重别人，等等。现在无论我到哪里工作，我都不会忘记给妈妈打个电话，但是我却时常忘记很多朋友的存在了。无论他们怎么约我，我会先看妈妈是否一个人在家。如果她一个人的话，我会呆在家里陪着她，聊着天，看电视。曾经很疯疯癫癫，好玩，好动的我，如今，真的变得很爱家了。无论怎样都好，亲情，永远会比一切更好~这是人生，一定要珍惜~

梦想 dream~

when i was still young now, this is the place that i want to go~ i wish i can do it next year ^^

周杰倫 你比從前快樂

“宅男”

很多年前，我是一名宅男，从来不爱打交道的。见到任何人都好，绝对不打招呼。现在的我，怎样都好，还是为了保持人脉关系，选择了乐观。没错，因为工作上的需要，我得保持乐观的态度，来引起客户的喜爱。这是工作时期的我，反而放工和休假的我呢，还是一名宅男。其实我也不想的吧……可能是，朋友越来越少，也或者是，不忍心让妈妈一个人呆在家里。这几个月以来，我都会很用心地陪伴着她老人家，也不会让她寂寞。就算我出差工作，我还是会打个电话，向她报平安。摆脱宅男，我早就做到了。只是，我没什么喜欢出门罢了。更何况现在的工作，我必须经常出门见客户的。还有的就是，很多朋友羡慕我的工作，也经常认为我像个老板了。拜托啦，我还是背着打工仔的号称来工作的。我经常被客户欺负得很惨，有谁了解呢？我出差的时候，也有谁知道，我超想家的……的确没什么人懂吧，而是我通过这份工作，学习了怎样独立，自习。我也从这份工作，学习了怎么看人格，心里战。压力方面，也不简单了。因为公司的存亡，也得靠着我们去拼。所以说呢，我的压力，谁能了解？自己自彼吧！

stress....

this month, would be the most stressful month for me.....i really wish that i could handle all the things that my boss and managers ordered me to do it. i am getting headache of my self when i am facing with my boss. i felt sorry to him anytime as i still can't prove my self as a great one. this feeling, same as when i was working in singtel....i am the worst one for the beginning, and everyone was looking down to me. this is what i am facing earlier on, until i decided to change, and then everything is getting better. and that's why, i want to bounce back so that i can improve my self. i don't want to be like this forever....i want to be awake from....everything that was disturbing inside my mind... as my previous supervisor in singtel said, clear all the road block in our mind, and face it tough. working is working, personal is personal, we can't mix it together in the same time.



i wish that everything can go through, and no more hesitating exist in my mond. god bless me please~

reality

during college life, i had a lot of best friends, no matter we are old friends, students, colleagues, i never be alone. but since i am graduated, i started my working life, and we are already busy with each other for meet. i had lost contact with many friends for so long. and in this few months, some of us contact again. i don't care too much, but just, i found that, we are not close anymore. most of them was just keep their eye with my money, assets. i feel fed up for sometimes when they are talking too much about their direct businesses, and most of them spoiled our friendships. even sometimes when they are trying to contact me, i will ignore their calls, and never pick up at all.


money, really will changed our friendship status? i really don't get it and sometimes the way their talking will cause me more to avoiding them. anyway, the world is changing, of course i wish that someday, we still will be as close as usual. i hope that nothing worse will be happen in the future.

since.....now....

since i graduated and work, there is no more exam, playing, sports and movies for me.


since i lost everything, i had learnt and let my self to be mature.


since i almost lost my life into accidents, i realize that my family is the best thing in my life.


since i worked in this company, i had learnt how to grow our own business, and relationship with customers.


since i step up into this society life, i found that not every friends can be trusted.

since i lost a lot of friends, i had learnt how to independent.

since i learnt a lot in this company, i had found my own target.


since i lost the one that i really loved, i lost a lot of feeling and ideas.....playing guitar, create songs, storyboard, jokes, smiles, and many things....i don't really want to be in love anymore.... i said that i wish she can be happy with her new relationship...but in reality, i am the one that live in sadness. "you should find a better girl to loved".....i heard this words for so many times, but, i am different with other guys. i am not easy to change my mind, i mean it won't change at all....i never cheat before, never lie before, and this is what i get at last, trauma. i am not a coward that like to hide, just that i don't want to create any trouble, and just respects. i know it's not right to write it here, but, i just write out my fucking feeling right here. maybe some other friends was right, i am just a piece of shirt, that after get wore, and just get dump. should i turn my self bad, and find any other girl to hurt? fuck off this! i prefer accompany my only mother at home, rather than get hurt or hurt any other girls!spending time and money for clubbing? fuck it! i prefer spend my time and money on charity, to help those peoples and kids that need help! promise? go to hell anyway! it's not exist at all o0o


since i always outstation, a lot of things happened. my brother's father-in-law has just passed away, my friend's grandfather that good to me has passed away last month, and his grandmother is in ICU now. my aunty that take care of me when i was 3 to 4 years old, has been admitted to hospital for heart surgery, and my uncle has also been admitted to hospital for operation. this is what i really facing now, and my life is getting sucks!


since i am going to be 22 years old, i will just said, fuck off 21 years old, you never be right at all!



since i wrote this blog, about this topics, i feel better now. thank you, blogger. you are the part of my life now, and just hope that i can prove my self, that i am getting better with the previous "me". ^^

win and lose

in this past few months, i tried hard to catch up everything with my company things and knowledges. however, i found that it's not easy at all. i sacrifice most of my times in outstations, meet customers, and learn everything by slowly with my mind. everytime when i feel want to give up, my boss and managers will give courage to me, and wish that i still can stay tough with this job. actually, what i want to mention right here is, i can learn, but, the mood of learning is not with me now. maybe this is because of something that happened recently, really made me down. everything has just come to me suddenly, and it's really hard for me to accept the cruel reality.


anyway, i don't care about it. i always searching suitable time, to take a nap, so that i can relax my mind, and get prepare for everything. i am not a good salesman, marketer, but what i can do is, i will try hard to provide good service to my customers. for my personal things, okay, i admit that she found her happiness, and i wish that she will be happy always, and i won't spoiled or disturb anymore. this is what i dare to promise, and dare to do for her. i am a loser for everything now, and i really lost many things. but what i can get from this bad experience is, the more things i lost, the more best things i will deserve.^^ i don't care about lose as i was still young now, and i still have a lot of way to go before the end. there is no more "think" in my mind, but "just do it", is always inside my mind. ^^

赵传－勇敢一点

我发现失去一个很重要的东西　
i found that i lost something that important

那一年我想要认识你的一种勇气
the braveness that i want to know you during the year

它让我毫不畏惧的告诉你我的感情
it let my feeling confess to you

如今害怕的思念着每一个过去
right now it let me feel afraid of the memories

失眠已佔据了你走后大部分的时间　
insomnia already full fill the time after you gone

不然这个时候我应该在你的房间
or else i should be inside your room during this time

看着你写给我的第一封和最后一封信　
reading the first and the last letter that you wrote for me

如此的转变用了四年三个月又七天
every transformation like this cost 4 years 3 months and 7 days

chorus: 我试着勇敢一点
i tried to be brave

　 你却不在我身边
but just you are not with me

　我的坚强和自信　
my braveness and confident

是因为相爱才上演
just because of love only will be showed up

我一定会勇敢一点
i surely will be brave

即使你不在我身边
even though you are not with me now

　你的决定和抱歉　
your decision and apologies

改变不了我的明天
can't change my future


勇敢是我今天再也无法面对的事情
braveness is the thing that i can't face

因为面对了勇敢记忆就会没有你
because facing with braveness will cause you lost in my memory

我的虚弱一直提醒着照顾自己　
my weakness always remind to take care of my self

当初如果照顾好你　
if i took good care of you previously

现在也不会被自己放弃
i won't get dump by self right now

How You've Been Lately

挑一張耶誕卡寫上滿滿祝福的話
tiao yi zhang ye dan ka xie shang man man zhu fu de hua
Picked a Christmas card and filled it with many blessful syaings
地址寫的是心底
di zhi xie de shi xin di
The address is written on the heart
你能不能收到它
ni neng bu neng shou dao ta
are you able to recieve it?
天有點冷
tian you dian leng
The weather is a bit cold
風有點大
feng you dian da
The wind is a bit windy
城市寧靜而喧嘩
cheng shi ning jing er xuan hua
The city is peaceful yet noisy
這一個冬天我得一個人走回家
zhe yi ge dong tian wo dei yi ge ren zou hui jia
This winter I must go home alone

問自己習慣了嗎
wen zi ji xi guan le ma
(I) ask myself if I am use to it yet
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
mei you ni mei dao ye li hui sheng bian de hao
Without you, every night the echos becomes very loud
有沒有什麼好方法
you mei you shen me hao fang fa
Is there a good method
讓寂寞更聽話
rang ji mo gen ting hua
to make the lonliness be good?

你最近還好嗎
ni zui jin hai hao ma
How you've been lately?
是不是也在思念裏掙扎
shi bu shi ye zai si nian li zhen zha
Are you still struggling in the longings?
你說會記得我還記得嗎
ni shuo hui ji de wo hai ji de ma
You've said you'll remember me, do you still remember?
你最近還好嗎
ni zui jin hai hao ma
How you've veen lately?
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
mang lu ma lei ma xin hai hui tong ma
Are you busy, tired, does your heart still hurt?
如果真不得已忘了我
ru guo zhen bu de yi wang le wo
If you really had to forget me
快向快樂出發
kuai xiang kuai le chu fa
hurry up and head towards happiness

有再多的牽挂都已沒有權利表達
you zai duo fe qian gua duo yi mie you tren li biao da
Even if we held hands, (I) still wouldn't have the strength to express (my feelings)
舊情人給的問候比陌生人還尷尬
jiu qing ren gei de wen hou bi mo shen ren hai gan ga
An ex's greeting is more awkward then a stranger's
昨天遠了
zou tian yuan le
Yesterday was far
明天還長
ming tian hai chang
Tomorrow is still long
回憶模糊但巨大
hui yi mu hu dan ju da
The memories are vague but huge
這樣的深夜眼淚要怎樣不流下
zhe yang de shen ye yan lei yao zen yang bu liu xia
How to stop the late night tears from falling?

問自己習慣了嗎
wen zi ji xi guan le ma
(I) ask myself if I am use to it yet
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
mei you ni mei dao ye li hui sheng bian de hao
Without you, every night the echos becomes very loud
有沒有什麼好方法
you mei you shen me hao fang fa
Is there a good method
讓寂寞更聽話
rang ji mo gen ting hua
to make the lonliness be good?

你最近還好嗎
ni zui jin hai hao ma
How you've been lately?
是不是也在思念裏掙扎
shi bu shi ye zai si nian li zhen zha
Are you still struggling in the longings?
你說會記得我還記得嗎
ni shuo hui ji de wo hai ji de ma
You've said you'll remember me, do you still remember?
你最近還好嗎
ni zui jin hai hao ma
How you've veen lately?
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
mang lu ma lei ma xin hai hui tong ma
Are you busy, tired, does your heart still hurt?
如果真不得已忘了我
ru guo zhen bu de yi wang le wo
If you really had to forget me
快向快樂出發
kuai xiang kuai le chu fa
hurry up and head towards happiness

你最近還好嗎
ni zui jin hai hao ma
How you've been lately?
是不是也在思念裏掙扎
shi bu shi ye zai si nian li zhen zha
Are you still struggling in the longings?
你說會記得我還記得嗎
ni shuo hui ji de wo hai ji de ma
You've said you'll remember me, do you still remember?
你最近還好嗎
ni zui jin hai hao ma
How you've veen lately?
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
mang lu ma lei ma xin hai hui tong ma
Are you busy, tired, does your heart still hurt?
如果真不得已忘了我
ru guo zhen bu de yi wang le wo
If you really had to forget me
快向快樂出發
kuai xiang kuai le chu fa
hurry up and head towards happiness

learning

我开工以来，已有两个星期多了吧？没错，从我进入这间公司的时候，我决定要很努力地学习。为何我不进大学，得到更高文凭，从事更好的工作职位呢？其实理由很简单，我不想一辈子打工，也更不想一直呆在办公室里面。我要的是，自由，经验，兴趣，与努力奋斗。虽然这两个星期里面，我还是无法真正成为“毕业”了的推销和市场员，不过，我还在学习着。我还在追寻着我的目标，梦想。从事了这份工作以来，我看到了自己的未来。老板与经理们都很好，不会很霸道，因为他们肯给我机会来学习。再加上，我不会呆在这里太久的。我还有很多目标在追寻着的。下个星期可能要独自出坡了。加油了~ since i started working, it's almost 2 weeks i think? yea....since i entered to this company, i had decide to learning more. why i don't want to enter university, get another degree cert, and get a better job position? actually the reason was so simple, i don't want to work for someone forever, and of course i don't like to stay inside office everyday. what i wanted is, freedom, experience, interest, and challenging. although in this two weeks time, i was still not qualified to become a sales and marketing executive, but, i still learn it hard. i am still searching for my own target, dreams. since i choose to take this job, i saw my own future. the boss and managers are friendly and they won't behave too ego, because they will give me a lot of chance to learn. plus, i won't stay here too long. i still have targets to pursue in my life. i might be outstation on next week. good luck for me~

终于明白 - 动力火车

作詞：徐光義
作曲：徐光義/王美蓮
編曲：洪敬堯

望著你 慢慢離開 宿命像潮水般
淹沒我 不能呼吸 漂浮在黑色的海

怎麼習慣失去你的未來
怎麼留住漸漸消失的雲彩

騙自己 愛還存在 淚水卻始終不斷
命中注定 沒有你的未來
莫失莫忘 漸漸消失的空白

什麼都別說 我不想懂
至少我還擁有 美麗的夢
什麼都別說 我真的不想懂
終於明白 該放手

終於明白 愛 該放手

望著你 慢慢離開 淚水不斷



一些朋友问我，有没有新目标呢？自从我正式恢复单身了以后，很少有暧昧的滋味了。其实，我也不知道的。因为现在的我还年轻，应该专注事业吧。拍拖呢，应该随缘了。一些朋友认为，我到现在还放不下从前的她……原因是我还会留意她的点点滴滴……但是，我也没打算要挽回了。这些一切，也得看天意。很多朋友说，她选择离开与伤害我，是她自己的损失与错误。她有无玩我，她是最清楚的。我只是知道，我的第一次恋爱，很完美，也很暗淡。而且当我听了这首歌之后，我明白这些意思了。^^

感恩

从我很小的时候，因为爸爸事业面对很大的失败，所以说，我的童年，并不是很理想的。我们自小，就生活得像逃难一样，住的屋子，没有一间是固定的.住了没几年，就要搬了。这些年的日子，说真的，很辛苦，这简直不是童年应该过的生活。爸爸曾经努力地想挽回所有的一切，可惜，还是失败了。再加上，他的病情也开始恶化了，随时随地都会离开人世。就当我们每次走投无路的时候，有几位恩人肯定会帮我们。她们就是我的大姑，二姑，和小姑。自小的时候，她们很疼爱我们，就好像亲生儿子这样地爱惜我们。小学的时候，我想要玩具。我爸肯定不给我买，反而姑姑们肯定会买给我们玩，也常带我们到游乐园玩些儿戏，让我们留下完美的童年。中学的时候，爸爸去世了，我们真的是无依无靠了。就这样，姑姑们每个月给我妈家用，供我们读书,直到我们都毕业为止。然后当我读学院的时候，她们也给我很多完美的设备，零用钱，好让我可以顺利地毕业再找到工作。

这些年来，她们对我们真的很恩重如山。我到现在还不知要怎么报答她们……特别是大姑，她是新加坡人。之前大哥往新加坡读书的时候，她为了供他读书，每天都选择工作加班，用她一半的工资来协助我们……二姑也一样……而小姑，是我们欠最多的。其实有时候我们都不够了解她……因为以前我们的家用和费用，都是她用自己的血汗钱供我们的。前天她入医院的时候，也隐瞒了我们，还好大哥刚好有事情打电话给她，才知道这些事的……正当刚才我们去扫墓的时候，她带着病陪我们一起扫，也险些中暑了。也因为这样，我心里想，她们老了……她们真的老了……我们都长大了，是不是时候要以十倍的报答来感恩她们这十几年来的恩情？

所以简单来说，我，玩够了。我是时候专注自己的事业了。这些年来的情债，到了下一世，也无返还清的了。因为这些恩情，是连钱都无法解决的，而是要靠心意的。

singapore trip~

i went to singapore few days ago and for me, it's great. as i can see everything there, their government did a brilliant job. their law, traffic, transportation, environment, everything is 10 times better than malaysia. this is the first time i went to singapore with own passport. a lot of peoples said they feel unbelievable that i am first timer to visit singapore when both of malaysia between singapore was near. what i really feel impressive is, there is a very peace place to live. as i know from singapore news everyday, there is no crime case happens everyday as it happens always in my country. this is due to their police has did their brilliant patriotic job, follow their rules and laws. and also, the law in singapore was far more strict than malaysia. this is the main reason that no one dare to do crime in singapore.

every friends asked me to work in singapore because there is a lot of space for me to pursue my own career. and this is also a very great place for me to live. however, i ignore. firstly, i still have a lot to improve in my country. second is, singapore is not a place that belong to me. third is, malaysia still has a lot of space to improve if the political view changed, and of course i choose to stay. and the last is, i never think about to work forever, and i don't want to leave so far away from my hometown.

the first time i reach singapore, i feel curious with their traffic because it's so much different when compare with malaysia. and the main thing is, i didn't see any proton and perodua cars, including 150cc below motorcycles like EX5. what i can see right here is, every citizens in singapore always follow their laws. when taking MRT or town bus, they can queue up. unlike us, there is no queue up at all. what i like about is their cleanness as every toilet that i went was 10 times clean and much more better than us. and also, their foods was really cheaper when calculate in sing dolar. their foods also very quality with the ingredients. during night time, i can see a lot pretty girls was walking alone back to their home with their expensive handbag and everything without afraid of crime things happen to them.

first day, i went to orchard road. it's nice to walk for those who likes shopping because there is so many big malls. and then, the next day i went to raffles place and china town. both of the places usually full of tourists and it's wonderful. afterthat, i went to clementi with my cousin there to visit my aunty and grandma. actually they don't know i was here because they always thought that i don't have any passport. and so on, i decided to give them surprise. when i reach there, they felt curious and very surprise that i am here. this is the first time ever i visit aunty house since i was born. after this, i went to woodlands to visit my third aunt and cousins. because of my third aunt birthday, we had a dinner there. i tasted the chili crab there and it's delicious. i don't think we can find it in malacca as it was quality.

after this wonderful day ended, the next day i went to sentosa with khai choong. i visited universal studio, the merlion park, and the seaside there. because of we have to rush back to malacca before evening, so we only can just take a look with those places. maybe there is still a lot of places i haven't visit, but the only conclusion that i will give is, singapore is really a nice place that we can't deny. however, if let me choose, i might be will choose selangor when everyone focus their career in singapore. as i know, working in singapore, what we can get was just the sing dolar that 2 times bigger than ringgit. maybe it's great but, we have to sacrifice so much there. family, times and dignity. plus, based on my behavior, i don't really like to follow law. hahaha

anyway, one day i wish that i will pay visit again in singapore with my cousins as they will let me learn more about singapore lifestyle. just, that's all only my trip and experiences in singapore~

first time~

finally, i can leave malaysia for the first time~hope that this will be a nice trip. god bless~

出路 my path~

上个星期五，我去了雪兰莪。原本星期四的时候要去新加坡的……怎么知道，因为凯钟突然才发觉他的护照寄托在他的经纪人的手上，所以还是没去到新加坡。就这样，我二话不说，第二天就到雪兰莪找荣光去了。说真的，这是我有生以来，第一次独自搭长巴去雪兰莪。到了那里，一身乡下人打扮的我，完全不懂得怎样搭轻快铁。还好一路上都有几个朋友致电教我怎么搭轻快铁，我才能顺利抵达目的地。我首先所拜访的地方，就是吉隆坡有名的学院，拉曼学院。我在前几年的时候，已经拜访过了，只是因为太大，还没走完，所以这次就很彻底地走完整个学院。坦白说，我有点后悔当初没来这里读书。在这里，真的很有大学的感觉。虽然我有想过要再读大学，不过现在我多数不会选择这里的了。拜访完了以后，我就回到荣光的宿舍去。当晚，我和他，还有一位黑人朋友，到一间花园喝酒去了。这一晚，我过得很好，感觉自己成熟了许多，也察觉到，其实雪兰莪，也是一个很不错的地方。虽然这里的生活水准很高，不过，马六甲的生活水准也不低了。我同时也觉得，这里遥远地比马六甲好很多了，而且不愉快的事情，我一转眼，就把它们给忘了。这一晚，毫无疑问的，我想我以后会选择到这里发展一段时间了。

第二天，我和荣光，还有jane四处逛街，寻找一些美食去。坦白说，这里的美食，真的比马六甲好很多了。自从马六甲发展了旅游业以后，众多的美食从好吃，变得走味了。而雪兰莪，无论著名还是平平，味道，还是保存的好。就这样过完了一天，第二天就要回家了，也有依依不舍的感觉。无论如何呢，我打算暂时在马六甲，等时机成熟了，我会到雪兰莪发展~

last friday, i went to selangor. actually the previous day, i suppose to visit singapore. however, khai choong told to me that he just realize he left his passport at his agent at last minute, and again, this trip has been cancelled. anyway, i don't care at all, i just visit to selangor on the next day to find yong kwang. actually, this is the first time ever i took a long bus alone to other state. when i arrived there, as a malaccan, i don't even know how to take LRT to another city. luckily there is a lot of friends guide me all the way to take LRT by phone, and at last i just arrive the place that i wanted to find. the first place that i visited, is the most famous college in KL, KTAR. i visited here back to few years ago. due to the place was too big, i just visited some part of it only. this time, i walked around there and it let feel like, it's a wonderful place to study. i felt regret because i suppose to study here 4 years ago but i didn't at last. i had been thought of continue study soon but this is not the place that i wanted to study anymore. after visited here, we went back to yong kwang hostel. and that night, me,yong kwang, and his african friend, john paul, went to a garden for drinking beer. this night, i felt better and i felt my self has grown mature than before. i feel that, selangor was a nice place. maybe the living cost is higher,however, the living cost in malacca is also getting higher, so there is no different within this two states' costs. i am also felt that, here is much better than malacca. and also, all those sadness and unhappy moments, i just forget it in just one night. in this night, i think that, i will choose to pursue my career here someday.

the next day, me, yong kwang and jane went to malls and hunted some nice foods around here. i found that in reality, the foods here was much nicer than malacca foods. since malacca has been grown up with tourism industry, all the nice foods here, has turned badly. however, in selangor, i heard that the taste will still remained even it's famous or normal. just after this day, i will go back to malacca on the next day. and anyway, i decided to worked in malacca for temporary. when i find the time is suitable, i will pursue career in selangor in the future~

still loving you- lee hom

依然愛你 詞/曲:王力宏

一閃一閃亮晶晶
twinkle twinkle little star
留下歲月的痕跡
left over the scar of memories
我的世界的中心
in my world
依然還是你
still was you

一年一年又一年
a year and another year
飛逝僅在一轉眼
everything just in one eye
唯一永遠不改變
the only thing wont change forever
是不停地改變
will never stop changing

我不像從前的自己
i am different when compare to previously
你也有點不像你
you are also different now
但在我眼中你的笑
however in my mind, your smile
依然的美麗
was still beautiful


日子只能往前走
life just can going on
一個方向順時鐘
an arrow by the clock
不知道還有多久
still don't know how long we left
所以要讓你懂我依然愛你 就是 唯一的退路
so must let you know i still loving you and it's the only way
我依然珍惜 時時刻刻的幸福
i still appreciate every happiness
你每個呼吸 每一個動作 每個表情
every breathe, every movement and every emotion of yours

到最後 一定會
until the last, surely will
依然愛你
still loving you


我依然愛你 或許是 命中注定
i still loving you,maybe it's fate

多年之後 任何人都無法代替
after many years, no one can replace you
那些時光是我這一輩子最美好的
all those previous time, was the greatest one that i ever had

那些回憶 依然無法忘記
those memories,still unforgettable.

我依然愛你 就是 唯一的退路
i still loving you, it's just the only way i can choose
我依然珍惜 時時刻刻的幸福
i still appreciate, every happiness that we had before

你每個呼吸 每一個動作 每個表情
every breath, every movement, and every emotions of yours,

到最後 一定會
until the last, surely will
依然愛你
still loving you.

你每個呼吸 每一個動作 每個表情
every breath, every movement, and every emotions of yours,

到最後 一定會
until the last, surely will
依然愛你
still loving you.

最爱的对白 favorite dialect~

曾经最爱看的电影，就是这部西游记，因为搞笑。现在看回这部电影的时候，我会觉得搞笑，可是，也很超感人。就周星驰所讲的那句对白，真的很感人，很经典。

this was my most favorite movie in the all times because it's very funny. however, when i watched it back recently, it's touching actually especially the dialect stephen chow spoke in the movie.





曾经有一段珍贵的爱情摆在我眼前，但是我没有好好地去珍惜，知道失去了后才后悔莫及，尘世间最大的痛苦莫过于此。如果上天可以给我一次从来的机会，我会对那个女子说三个字­：我爱你，如果非得要在这份爱加上一个期限不可，那么，我希望是......一万年......


there was a precious love standing in front of my eyes previously, but i never appreciate it. until when i lost it, i felt regret, and it's the most painful feeling in all the time. if the god could give me one more chance, i wish that i could tell that girl, "i love you". if there is still need the validity time and date, i wish that it will be, 10 thousands years....

发现

最近电脑坏了，手机也开始坏了，连身体都病倒了 =.='''……现在找工作很不简单，就算他们请我了，我还是必须得烦距离，时间等等。当然，我还不想那么快工作啦，因为太闷了，哈哈。现在无法使用自己的电脑上网，所以暂时上只可以使用哥哥的电脑罢了。不过，我最近也不太喜欢上网了。现在的我比较喜欢找朋友，亲戚或者陪家人了。说真的，自从我有了电脑，手机，网络了过后，我感觉上我和家人与亲戚见面和讲话的次数已经很少了。这些年来，我很多时候都离不开电脑，尤其是有女朋友的那个时期，我更加离不开。就这样，在现实中的每一样东西，我竟然忘记怎么去关心了。再加上我工作了之后，我对任何事情一无所知了。因为如此，现在的我比较爱家人了，也很努力地要改变这个家庭。虽然我听一些朋友说，用多余的时间赚钱，可以给自己的家人更美好的保障。可是在我心里面，钱，是赚不完的。而家人，只有一个而已。我只会说，我宁愿陪家人多一点，还多过于打工吧。

昨天，我的姨丈被送进了医院，原因是因为跌倒而撞到头了。我听说，当时他跌倒的时候并没什么人在家，除了我阿姨以外，而表哥表姐已经出外工作了。可是还好当时有邻居肯帮忙，而表姐也来得及过来接他进医院，否则的话，后果也不甘设想。我姨丈这些年来很不好运，在六年前，原本很会往外跑的他，突然中风了。现在能够照顾他的，只有我阿姨和表姐了。我也不知怎么想，因为这件事过后，我自己觉得，我长大了，而我身边的亲戚，开始老了。也是因为这样，我反而更珍惜自己的家人，还有亲戚。

梦想

很多人问我，你，有没有梦想的？很多人都有梦想，譬如可以当有钱人，环游世界，当明星歌手等等的伟大梦想。我的梦想呢？坦白说，我工作以来，我变得没梦想，因为我只顾着工作赚钱，完全没理会自己的目标。那好的，我已经离开了大公司，朝着我的目标前进了。我首先的目标，就是写我的工作感受的文章。写完了以后，放上网了过后，也赢得满多的赞和感想。这个，算是我的梦想之一。因为我从小到大的梦想，就是希望可以写些故事性的文章，剧本，然后拍成短片或电影，播放在荧幕上再让大家欣赏。这个梦想，就是我的兴趣，也是我想要的一份工作。然而，我曾经得到不少人的批评。有人对我说，兴趣，能当饭吃吗？这个年代没有“兴趣”了，反而钱往往是所有的一切。也有人诋毁我，剧本这个东西，任何人都会写的，完全不需要我的存在来写它。这些话，是我还没进入大公司之前所听到的……当时的我只想着，往外发展吧，反正还年轻。也或者，打工也不错，可以赚钱，也有些保障。但是，自从我听到新加坡人辱骂大马人的事件过后，我终于醒了。我满脑子所想的“钱”途，和往新加坡发展的梦想，就这样灭掉了。我当初想创业的梦，去哪里了？为何我只想打工，而变得很没出息？虽然说我当初很想和朋友们一起创业，但时间久了，个人想法都会变的，所以，我选择靠自己。今年要二十二岁了，我可以做很多很多的东西，也可以朝着梦想走。最近我想了一个名言，我不怕失败，只怕没试过。就这样，我选择找一份时间充足的工作，然后抽时间半读着大学，也抽时间写些剧本。这是我2012年的目标，我也希望可以顺利成功!

感想……

本人想分享一个经验。我生在马六甲，今年22岁。去年六月，我完成学院课程毕业过后，就很努力地找工作了。很多亲友对我说，刚毕业的话，就应该往新加坡发展，那里的新币很高，保证“钱”途无量。当时我的确有考虑过到那里发展。因为，我看见很多亲友在那里发展得很成功，所以我打算慢慢在这里先打个工，存够钱才能往新国发展。起初我只能通过上网找工作，也试过几次面试，但是开出的工钱均不理想。直到有一天，我接到了一通电话，是一间大公司打过来的。他们透过网上收到了我的个人简历，就要求我到他们公司去应征工作。这间公司是新加坡某间大公司的分行，听起来的确是很有名气，因为这间公司，能够满足新加坡人民的需要，所以要到那里应征，真的要做充足的准备。这家公司的名字我不方便公开，毕竟我想跟大家分享的是我的工作经验。

应征过后，这家公司给我的职务是客户服务员，也就是接听顾客打来的电话和聆听他们的要求和不满。这些来电，大多数是新加坡人、当地的中国人、马来西亚人、印度人与外国人等等打过来的。起初，我不太明白他们是怎么打过来的，毕竟新加坡打过来也不便宜。当我了解了公司的详情后，原来他们是打免费服务热线号码，那个热线就接到我们这里的。本来我有点害怕要接这份工作，因为新加坡的产品，并非那么容易了解。不过，我还是接受了这个挑战。第一，我想到新国发展，就拿这些来当实习；第二，是我好不容易通过应征所得到的，当然要珍惜这个好机会；第三，工资虽然是马币，但比其它公司给我的还高很多。再来是他们给的福利不错，譬如提供医药卡、津贴、年假、公积金等。

为求更好的发展机会，时刻须忍气吞声

我听很多人说过，新加坡人很会投诉，而且只要是付钱购买了产品后，得到的服务一定要很好。我觉得这个很正常，因为身为消费者，我们当然有权力得到更好的服务。不过，当我接到这些新加坡人的电话时，则不一定了。虽然只是在电话里谈话，但这种交谈方式，如果换成是现实的对话，我未必能忍受得住。我曾经想要放弃这份工作的，但我最后还是选择留下来继续忍受，如果我现在就放弃，就很难再找到这种大公司了。我随后成功地挨了几个月，坦白说，我从这间公司学到的东西真的很多，我可以顺利通过这些经验到新国发展了。当初我认为要存至少两年的钱，才可到新国发展。可是这间公司所发给我的工资，不到半年就存够本钱了。当然，我也有想过到这间公司的总部工作。

由于这份工作时间很长，以致我连近来我国发生什么事，都一无所闻。再说，我心里面只是想着赚钱、事业，还有离开这个国家往外发展。这是我一直以来奋斗的目标，我希望可以趁年轻的时候，达成我所有的心愿。关于这国家发生了什么事，我也懒得理了。我每天所接听的电话，不是投诉，就是他们要求太高。他们怎么辱骂，我都不管，因为他们只认得我声音，绝对不知道我是谁，所以我完全不用担心，也不用害怕他们投诉我。他们怎么投诉我都好，公司也不会去理会的，这就是我在这公司工作的好处。

歧视性电话敲醒了我的“美梦”

我在这公司工作接近半年，刚好我的合约要到期，因为公司给我签的合约只是半年试用期，而且由于工作有所表现，我获得了机会成为长久员工，工资和福利也好很多了。这是我发挥所长的时候，也是赚更多钱的时机了。也因此，我变得很不像我自己了。直到有一天，一通电话改变了我的命运。这通电话，促使了我写下这篇文章。这名顾客，是一名女士，正宗的新加坡人。这通电话虽然不是我接的，但是我听了整个故事的经过与过程之后，我终于觉醒了，也因此感到非常愤怒。

事情的经过是这样，客户是以英文交谈的。我的同事是名印度人，而这名顾客，只是想知道我们公司在新加坡有什么特别的促销活动。由于我的同事解释得不够完善，这名顾客无情地痛骂了他，还说要找上司谈话。由于当时我们的监督人没在，所以就由我的另一个同事代监督，与那名女士谈话。她们的对话如下：

女士：在我还没投诉前，你能不能告诉我，你是马来西亚人，还是新加坡人？

同事：我是新加坡人。

女士：很好。你听清楚。也顺便将这通电话的录音提供给你的总经理。首先，我只想知道你们有什么促销活动。可是，刚才你的那位员工提供给我的资料很不完整，而且，他的英文真的好烂！你们是怎么请人的？干嘛请这种英文讲不好的马来西亚外劳当你们的客服员？你们不觉得丢脸吗？我要的是有水准的服务，而且是以你们公司的名气来提供的。

同事：我为此事感到很抱歉……

女士：抱歉？不必了。要抱歉的话，请和你的总经理说，把这些马来西亚的外劳都给炒完！我恨透他们了！你有所不知吧？当年马来西亚政府抛弃了新加坡，导致我们很难生存。如今我们国家的经济已经是亚洲第一了，我们四周围遇到的人都是这些外劳，以致我完全不想住这里了，你知道吗？马来西亚政府当初有本事抛弃我们，这些马来西亚人还很不要脸的来到我国发展！这是什么意思？在中国，周围都是中国人；在美国，周围都是美国人；在马来西亚，四周围都是大马人；可是在新加坡，却都不是新加坡人，反而是马来西亚外劳、印度外劳、孟加拉外劳、中国外劳等。我的国家原本是很干净的，可是却被这些外劳给住满了，所以也变脏了！我真希望有一天政府可以把他们都赶走，特别是马来西亚外劳，只会拖累我们国家的发展而已！明白了没？

同事：我了解了。可是裁员这种东西，不是我们随便能做到的。

女士：我知道。不过以他们的烂英文，你们是不是应该采取行动了？你们应该要把他们送去特训英文班。说真的，五岁小孩的英文都讲得比他们好很多啦！还有，没本事的话，就别来这里赚新币吧，应该回到原本的地方赚吃！

大马人材被迫流落新国

以上的这些对白句句属实！这些话，我听了非常愤怒，真的恨不得想打她！我通过公司的系统得到她的新加坡身份证、照片、住家地址与等资料。本来我想通过面子书把这些事情经过闹大，但由于她的资料只有我们公司能保存，再加上如果我闹大的话，后果不堪设想。所以，我没把她的鬼脸放出来已经很给她面子了。如果这家公司没有马来西亚人的话，我敢肯定这家公司会破产，也绝对会让新国面临经济困境，因为这家公司拥有的70%员工，都是马来西亚人！而我气消了后，也蛮认同她的某些讲法，说真的，有哪一个国家的人民，能够接受外地人在他们的国家生存？而且导致社会上激烈的竞争？如我所见，很多印尼、孟加拉、印度、缅甸等国的外劳，除了来我国赚吃，也常引发犯罪案的提升。我也不喜欢这些人，也恨不得想把他们赶走。

我国和新加坡作比较起来，我们是能轻易便超越他们的。可是为何我们却无法超越他们，反而被他们歧视？为何我们很多的人材，却无法待在自己的国家发展，被迫去帮他国发展？为何人家的政府能公平对待人民，而我们却被分为土著、非土著？为何别人有言论自由，而我们一说出自己的心声，还要被惩罚？不过，那位女士自己本身也意想不到……没有我们的人材，新币会成为“亚洲美金”吗？如果所有的人材都回马，你们新国绝对不会有今天。我们到你的国家，只不过是想要赚吃，“外劳”这个字眼，未免太离谱了，我们可不是苦力，我们是有大专文凭的毕业生！

我回来了，我要在大马发展！

自从听了那女士这一番话后，我醒觉了。我已经辞掉了这份工作，开始专注在大马发展。再加上，我本身也是民联党员，把这些心声透露给各位同胞，是我身为国民和党员的责任。我本身相信，只要我们同心协力，不可能的事都会成真！就如倪可敏所说的一句话：“如果我们的政府再不争气的话，未来二十年后，不是我们请外劳和女佣为我们服务，反而是我们送自己的子女到外国当奴才！”我们众多的人材，都去哪里了？为何所有人都必须待在大马受苦、遭遗弃，然后被逼到国外去？

我们的国家，五十多年以来被国阵执政，不仅没进展，反而落后了很多。我们能不能换政府来改变这一切？就如十多年前的韩国，是个没什么人想去的国家，他们也有很多的人材都选择出国发展。但是自从他们的换了几次政府过后，一切真的改变了。他们的人材原本是在国外的，因为改变了，他们都肯回到自己的国家发展。现在的韩国，已经是非常强大的了。

所以说，各位在新国的大马同胞们，我们可以一起努力去改变现状吗？我不是要求你们放弃在新国的发展机会，而是想透过这篇文章来告诉你们我的心声，也吁请你们铭记，我们无论往哪里发展都好，绝对不能忘记我们是从哪里来的，更别忘了回到属于自己的家！我可以为了国家的将来，放弃新加坡众多公司的高薪工作，也抽点时间为人民与政党服务，希望可以尽一份力去改变这个国家。我也了解事业的重要，但想到这国家，还有我们子女的未来，怎样都好，我们一定要做出改变！所有的不利将成为最美好的，我已准备好面对各项挑战，也不会再想成为所谓的“外劳”或“奴隶”了，因为我要证明给他们看，“外劳”也可以回到自己的国家，共同建设它，把它变得更强大、更伟大！


以上的这篇文章，我写了……赞的也有，骂的也有……不过，我只是发表心声而已，并无其他目的。一些人认为我很嫩，很自我，写这篇文章来发泄，感觉上我得罪他们了。我已经写得很清楚了，我是发表我的心声，来要求改变自己的国家，而不是针对任何人。请问，我的言论有写到新加坡打工的不好之处吗？我有没有说到出国会对国家不敬吗？我是料到了肯定会有些人不满我写的文章。可是，无所谓。我是尽以马来西亚人的身份来发表自己的意见，也希望大马的同胞们能够了解与支持。有人认为就算民联执政了，也肯定看不到改变，所以认为自己选择出国是对的。也有人认为，没有新加坡，就没有今天的新山。这点我当然知道，而且我写得很清楚了，我没有认为新加坡不好，而是认为我们的政府没本事发挥的很好，才会导致落后。我所写的目的只不过是要大家同心协力来改变自己的国家，而并不是批评出国的不好，或挑战新加坡人民和在那里工作的大马人。如有不满，我会先道歉。但是，我还是一句话地坚持，我们要改变！

97-79~

this would be my self made videography~ i will make it perfect with my own creativity and i wish that it would be done. no matter how hard is it, just do it!

结束了~

我在新电讯的日子，终于结束了……以后不用再接听任何投诉了……暂时上，我想休息罢了，还没打算想那么多。关于爱，我更加没去管了。我只想做些我要做的，多过于被人家玩弄得不像样。挽回爱，这种东西，我没本事做了。因为我知道，她变了。怎样的变法，我不是很清楚,我只知道，我感觉不到爱了。关于这些，我不太想去理了。很多东西，只能回味罢了，但也无法挽回来。除非有奇迹出现，她会回来吧。不过，这是绝对不会的。因为我蛮了解她的……她曾经喜欢的东西，一旦她不喜欢了，是绝对不可能再喜欢的。这种个性，很大小姐，所以坦白说，我很不喜欢。我唯一希望的，就是可以找到懂得了解我，珍惜我的人…最重要是会守信用^^

你走了

還在尋找 曾經每次你對我的好
還在祈禱 最愛的你回到我懷抱
聽不到 你不知道我有多難熬
沒有預兆 其實我想你一分一秒

守著你的誓言 風在笑
抱著你的回憶 淚在掉
愛過的每一秒 都是煎熬
難道你真的忍心就忘掉

守著你的誓言 風在笑
抱著你的回憶 淚在掉
捨不得你走掉 你走了

you want to make a memory

Hello again, it's you and me
Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin' wine, killin' time
Tryin' to solve life's mysteries

How's your life? It's been a while
God it's good to see you smile
I see you reachin' for your keys
Lookin' for a reason not to leave

If you don't know if you should stay
If you don't say what's on your mind
Baby just breathe
There's nowhere else tonight we should be

You wanna make a memory?

I dug up this old photograph
Look at all that hair we had
It's bittersweet to hear you laugh
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/bon-jovi-lyrics/(You-want-to)-make-a-memory-lyrics.html -]
Your phone is ringin' I don't wanna ask

If you go now, I'll understand
If you stay, hey, I got a plan

You wanna make a memory?
You wanna steal a piece of time?
You can sing the melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You wanna make a memory?

If you don't know if you should stay
And you don't say what's on your mind
Baby just breathe
There's nowhere else tonight we should be
We should be

You wanna make a memory?
You wanna steal a piece of time?
You can sing the melody to me
And I can write a couple lines

You wanna make a memory?
You wanna make a memory?

valentine's day

2 days left....will be valentine's day. i don't know what to say about this day...erm, i admit that i really afraid of this day....because too much memories during this day. i never wanted to think about this but, it's okay if just made a flash back.....a year ago, i am still a guy that like to do something special for "her"... a guy that very crazy, loyal, honest, and dare to do everything for her....that time, was the first time ever i celebrate valentine's day...it's really sweet^^....i don't want think about it actually because, it let me feel cold....lonely and warmless....although i accidentally met her when hanging out..i just smile a while to her and walk away. but i still feel...nothing actually^^.....

when someone asked me, who is she? i will said...i don't know, maybe is a stranger that i used to know^^

目标~

离职后的目标是,

决定了

最近想通了……因为一场车祸，导致到家里面临一些问题……虽然家人没有怪我，可是也因为我，现在又陷入了困境。所以，为了减少问题，我决定明天要把辞职信给交上去了。这是我很早以前想做的……可是，由于工作有改进，我才会决定留下来。不过发生了车祸之后，我失去了我的“老战友”……我也想到，如果我一直呆在这里，我的压力只有增，没有减，何必让自己痛苦呢？虽然工资是很不错，但是等到了有一天，我得到的，会是什么？难道我要为了钱，留下来，继续折磨自己？我的梦想，也要为了这些，而给淡忘了吗？我22岁了……还有很多条路走的……如果为了钱途，而牺牲了前途，我的人生，太没意义了。加上，我还有很多东西还没完成。原本我还打算打工，忘了所有的一切……可是现在，我打算去完成它了。我希望所有的一切可以顺利过关~

我希望明天过后，我可以策划接下来的目标。我希望，我可以顺利地旅行。我想去的地方是：新加坡，怡保，吉隆坡，金马伦（如果顺利的话）...我也希望可以完成我脑海里的两个剧本，和一个长稿，这个长稿，是献给所有大马同胞们的。还有的是，今年的羽球赛，一定要很苦练了~

最后的决定，我不后悔了，就做掉它吧~^^

"anniversary"

31st january, normal day~ i don't know how to mention this day because, it can be mentions as anniversary between me and her last time....i described this day as "1314".....because january=1, 31= 3,1 , and 12.04am(0.04am)= 4....so this what i described as anniversary date.....however, this date, is not exist anymore. what will always appeared in my mind is, "you are a greatest guy ever, and i don't wanna hurt you", "i listened to this words all the times and, fuck off i said^^

chinese new year~

finally the chinese new year has comes. i just wish that everything can be go through, my injury will get recovered, and wish that can achieve the best in career~^^^

i love you

"i love you", it's since very long time i didn't say this word....i dare to said before to a girl, i will wait one day to tell her this word when she is coming back to me....however, there is no chance anymore....everything could just be precious memories....i always think when will i sing this song, "silence" someday when she is going to leave....but now, i can listen and sing it anytime when i want because for me, she is already leaving and never return at all^^

guitar~

this guitar, i bought it during 2010. i never play guitar before but, i played for someone actually, and that's the reason i bought it... i learnt it, played it, create a song with it....and i don't know how many songs totally i created... before, i create for romantics...but now, i can create for nothing. i stopped playing it since the string broke until when my friend fix it back, i started to play it back....i really addict with the sound of guitar. although i am not really pro in guitar but, i am still willing to learn it slowly...because, man! life is enjoyable! relax and let music cheer our life up!

now i am still injured but i still can play it....about those songs that i wrote before, what can i do? hahaha. i don't know....maybe i will play it for someone next time if "she" could understand enough the meaning of my songs^^

deleted~

During this year, i just focus on this blog....and the previous one for "you", i decided to delete it since "you" won't care anymore....what i want to mention it right here, and i don't know whether "you" will find it here or not, i just want to said, thank you that "changed" so much.... thank you that always broke the promise....and thank you for everything that made me awake...without your everything, i won't be mature now^^ anyway, i wish "you" all the best and "you" surely will find the better one than me^^ be happy always as i wish "you" here^^

车祸~

前晚，我又遇到了车祸。这次我是放慢速度骑摩托车回家，哪里知道，突然前面的一辆摩托玩得很突然，我也来不及煞车，就这样跌伤了……这次，我感觉很伤，可是我很冷静，而且我还很清醒地知道要做些什么。当然，我超想骂那个人不会骑摩托，导致意外发生……路边的旁观者劝我躺着，直到救护车来了，我才上车去医院。到了那里，我以为是直接进紧急室。怎么知道，那里的工作人员的态度，真的很差。他们还要我排队拿号码……这时我开始不满意了，然后一位医生先帮我清伤口……当时他开着大风扇，还朝着我吹呢，导致我痛得不得了，叫他们快点给关了。过后，他就叫我排队拿号码。当时，很多人在等着……我非常地愤怒咯，等到我的时候，我都等死了！我就直接跟哥哥说，我不要死在这个地方，太烂了，带我去私人医院更好……


到了那里，感觉上好多了……幸好当初有买医药卡，所以不怕这些负担。说真的，这个车祸已提醒我了，是时候放弃摩托了……现在骑摩托，分分钟都会出事了，所以真的要改驾车了。就这样，医生吩咐我休息一个星期~所以说，我提早放假了，也要以这种形态过年咯~

最后的挑战

今天工作时，我竟然会被叫去训练室，来了解之前所犯错的基本错误。原本我打算要辞职了，可是看到了这么一些新的挑战，加上公司的规矩开始严格了，所以压力开始也大了。不过，无所谓。我承认我最近的表现很差，而且是分分钟会被炒鱿鱼的那种……因为上司肯给我很多机会，我才能够待到现在……就这样，我决定接下来的一个月，要很努力地发挥了。好与差，无所谓了，因为我决定一个月过后，就决定离开了这家公司，寻找新的出路。坦白说，从我踏入这间公司开始，我并没有真正喜欢过这份工，反而很想快点离开。可是由于做久了，对每样东西都熟了，所以也开始喜欢这里了……直到有一天，一些事情发生了过后，我开始醒了，也开始厌倦这份工了……现在我不方便说出来，因为这是公司的机密，但是有一天，我还是会分享所有的经验给大家看，特别是在新加坡工作的马来西亚人，更加要看。

这份工作，虽然压力，可是得到的经验是很丰富的。至少做了这份工过后，我的忍耐性比以前好很多了。加上因为这个公司的知名度很高，以后要跳槽也是很简单~我希望这一个月里面，可以顺利过完它~

接下来是羽球赛~ 自从工作了过后，我完全没适合的时间练球。不过，我打算辞职了过后，就找些合适的时间来练球，希望今年的比赛都能够顺利地参赛~加油咯~

泡汤~

这个星期六原本要去新加坡旅游的……由于回家的车票贵得吓人，所以改去下个月了……至于MUET 考试，本来是要报名的，可是报名日期已结束了，所以还得等了……还有原本要辞职了，可是由于担心工作难找，所以想再延长工作合约了……虽然很多东西过得不顺利，不过，习惯了。当做是人生的学习吧~反正下个月我想去新加坡，金马伦和怡保，一次过旅游这些地方吧~

误会大了~

最近这几个月，我在facebook认识了一个女孩……她大我两岁，是个日本混血儿。有一次，由于太无聊了，所以就和她聊了起来，而且是很普通的那种，也交换了号码。虽然，有时候她会主动打电话和发短讯给我，不过，我们从来没见过面。至到有一次，她很明显地对我说，她喜欢我……这一切，我真的不知怎么形容。有几次，我很坦白地对她说，我不是好人，也更没打算谈恋爱。可是，有几次她不断地讯息我，我还是心软地和她聊天……所以，现在也是不知该怎么做……她也时常在facebook写着爱情的东西，我看了也不知怎么阻止了……再说，她并不是我要的，而且感觉，说真的，一点也没有……所以肯定没有好结果的。

别想多了，这首歌，献给她吧，希望她明白^^

爱在记忆中找你

这首歌，以前听得不太明白。现在，我可以很了解它的含义了。我的前女友，不知不觉中，竟然在我午睡的时候，出现在我的梦里……她的温柔，关怀，可爱，都很令我怀念。她的这些个性，现在已经不存在了……简单来说，以前很爱我的她，已经死了。在睡梦中，我真的很爱很爱她……可是当我醒来的时候，所有的一切，只有在回忆可以找的回。反而在现实中，已经挽不回了……当初想不开的我只想挽回，不过现在已成熟的我，选择放下了。她的一切，我再也不理了。这是因为我当初付出的越多，失望得越大。在那八个月里面，我真的尽力了……结果呢，我还是挽回不了她。她说不想伤害我……其实，她的所作所为，已经伤害我了，只是她不知道我有多么的痛苦。我有一段时间不爱讲话，不爱出门，不爱和其他人打交道，也算是为了要挽回她……我唯一没想到的就是，她变了……以前很信任我，爱我，关心我的她，变得很冷淡了……我很想见她，但是经常没那个机会……我那一段时间，真的很伤心。为何她会变成这样？为何事实这么残酷？

不过，这些已经过去了。再说，只要她过得好，有更好的男人能爱她的话，我希望那个男人，可以取代我爱她一辈子^^

恐惧

今天我带着以往的心情到公司去上班。因为今天是休息天，所以只做半天的加班。当我要到公司的时候，突然一辆摩托没注意到我，直接目中无人地弯着走……我也险些来不及停下来撞他。还好当时我骑得很慢，所以没什么意外发生……那条路，正好是我半年前出事的地方……我停在路旁，整个人变得很低落，直接和经理说我无法上班了。不知发生了什么事，我到了神庙去拜了神，心情就有转好了一点。回家的路上，我整个人变得很不一样……我竟然会有恐惧感了。不过，我不会想到那么多。我还是个普通人，而且生活，也得过。当然，过了今天，还有很多明天都会有好坏的事情发生的啦。休息日，还是休息比较好~

恢复中~

新的一年，感觉上没什么特别，日子，也还是一样要过。现在的我，已经很彻底地放下从前的痛苦了。距离离开公司的时间，只剩下接近二十天了……当初的我很想离开……但是因为在那里学的东西还蛮多的，所以也考虑过要留下一段时间。不过，最近的我，连最基本的知识，都会犯错……我自己也不知道发生了什么事。我也在怀疑自己，我太累了吗？因为长期做着工，连休息都很少了，加上每天都重复一样的工作，久而久之，连最专长的，都会退步的……这是在提醒我，该停此了吗？这半年来的压力，累积的经验，挨到的痛苦，是不是已经够了？是不是时候换个环境了？我也不清楚……可能相比其他朋友的话，我的工作福利最好……可是，有谁知道我是挨到最辛苦的那位呢？每天不断地被批评，羞辱，辱骂，投诉，等等……几乎是每一天，每一分，每一秒……不停地重复着，试问有谁可以顶得住呢？工钱，很不错。但是，有将来吗？坦白的说，我看不到将来。我看到的是，一世人呆在这个地方工作的话，只看到活着的尸体，每天重复着一样的东西……完全没有出路的。

就是这样，我只剩下十天的时间来决定，写辞职信，还是继续？给我选择，我一定很想辞职，但是也担心找不到工作了……虽然我还会继续念书，不过还没念书前，工作还是很重要的。这些，我暂时不想烦。我只想要，好好休息，恢复自己的意识先~加油咯

劉德華 - 悟 MV

无量心 生福报 无极限
无极限 生息息 爱相连
为何君视而不见 规矩定方圆
悟性 悟觉 悟空 心甘情愿

放下 颠倒梦想 放下云烟
放下 空欲色 放下悬念
多一物 却添了 太多危险
少一物 贪嗔痴 会少一点

若是缘 再苦味也是甜
若无缘 藏爱 在心田
尘世 藕断还丝连 回首一瞬间
种颗善因 陪你走好每一天

唯有 心无挂碍 成就大愿
唯有 心无故 妙不可言
算天算地 算尽了 从前
算不出 生死 会在哪一天

勿生恨 点化虚空的眼
勿生怨 欢喜 不遥远
缠绕 欲望的思念 善恶一瞬间
心怀忏悔 陪你走好每一天

再牢的谎言 却逃不过天眼
明日之前 心流离更远
浮云霎那间 障眼 人心渐离间
集苦连连 不断的出现

无量心 生福报 无极限
无极限 生息息 爱相连
凡人却视而不见 规矩定方圆
悟性 悟觉 悟空 心甘情愿
简简单单 陪你走好每一天


当初看到这部戏，觉得是翻拍李连杰的少林寺，所以没打算要看。但是，当我看这部戏的剧情，与聆听它的音乐时，我的想法改变了很多。它让我觉得，曾经拿得起的，就应该放得下，免得让自己继续受苦。所以今年，唯一可以改变一切的，就是这首歌了~它的含义，真的能够让我感到清醒，觉悟。以前的我，很固执，坚持，不认输。现在，我学习怎么低调，从低做起，从头再来。虽然当初的我不是很信神。可是，现在的我觉得，我很荣幸我是道教，而且是个信佛的人。我是没必要再想着改宗教了。因为我生成是什么，死也成为什么的。我太久没写东西了，是因为太多东西困扰着我。现在，我会写了。我曾经很想写作的，所以当然要学习写些东西了~ 为了将来和梦想，加油吧！