since.....now....

since i graduated and work, there is no more exam, playing, sports and movies for me.


since i lost everything, i had learnt and let my self to be mature.


since i almost lost my life into accidents, i realize that my family is the best thing in my life.


since i worked in this company, i had learnt how to grow our own business, and relationship with customers.


since i step up into this society life, i found that not every friends can be trusted.

since i lost a lot of friends, i had learnt how to independent.

since i learnt a lot in this company, i had found my own target.


since i lost the one that i really loved, i lost a lot of feeling and ideas.....playing guitar, create songs, storyboard, jokes, smiles, and many things....i don't really want to be in love anymore.... i said that i wish she can be happy with her new relationship...but in reality, i am the one that live in sadness. "you should find a better girl to loved".....i heard this words for so many times, but, i am different with other guys. i am not easy to change my mind, i mean it won't change at all....i never cheat before, never lie before, and this is what i get at last, trauma. i am not a coward that like to hide, just that i don't want to create any trouble, and just respects. i know it's not right to write it here, but, i just write out my fucking feeling right here. maybe some other friends was right, i am just a piece of shirt, that after get wore, and just get dump. should i turn my self bad, and find any other girl to hurt? fuck off this! i prefer accompany my only mother at home, rather than get hurt or hurt any other girls!spending time and money for clubbing? fuck it! i prefer spend my time and money on charity, to help those peoples and kids that need help! promise? go to hell anyway! it's not exist at all o0o


since i always outstation, a lot of things happened. my brother's father-in-law has just passed away, my friend's grandfather that good to me has passed away last month, and his grandmother is in ICU now. my aunty that take care of me when i was 3 to 4 years old, has been admitted to hospital for heart surgery, and my uncle has also been admitted to hospital for operation. this is what i really facing now, and my life is getting sucks!


since i am going to be 22 years old, i will just said, fuck off 21 years old, you never be right at all!



since i wrote this blog, about this topics, i feel better now. thank you, blogger. you are the part of my life now, and just hope that i can prove my self, that i am getting better with the previous "me". ^^