first flight that out from malaysia

tomorrow 5am, will be the first time of my life, for having a flight and working trip to china. i hope everything will go through and god bless me.^^

r.i.p paul walker

the day when my brother is enjoying his wedding day, paul walker had died in an accident and this has crash all the fast and furious' fans hearts. this is the most unacceptable news that shock everyone around the world. however, R.I.P paul. i am watching his movies since 2001, until the latest one recently, fast 6. he is the most cool guy in fast and furious series. i wish that fast 7 could be done perfectly without paul, as his spirit will still stay remain with everyone.

decide or undecided?

suddenly, i felt boring with my life now a days. i feel that my working life with current company, is getting near to the end. i admit i like this working place. but i also admit that, i should plan further for my own future. sometimes i feel quite fed up with everything that happened to me non stop everyday. but sometimes, i take it as experience, as i always learn how to let negative turned into positive.


however, now a lot of friends asked me to join for new business. and some friends give me better offer to work with them as a sales person. i am not a good sales person actually. i just a simple sales person, that when promise customer what i can do, then i did what i promise at last. this kind of responsibility, is what i gained during my period working with this company. maybe as i heard from my boss and managers, they are likely to promote me to become manager soon. although its challenging, but i still back to my main topic, i wont work long.

2 more years, my new chapter in my life will begins. lets see. hehe

time, life, passion

i worked in this company for almost one and a half year. for me, i deserved a lot, and grew a lot with various kind of experiences and problem settlements. what i had learn now a days is, never try to avoid problems from own customer as we need to keep on our business for long term. however, day by day, i can feel that, my time in my life, is only for working. i am only 23 years old, but, i feel like, my life is getting meaningless for working only. those colleagues did treat me very well, and i like this place. but, someday, i still need to move on, especially to chase my dream. i still have a lot of thing has not completed yet, as i always purchasing my dream before i entered this company. i know that my boss will never let me go in the future when the time has come, as he really treat me very well if compared to my previous bosses. my future, still unknown and blank now a days.

everything for me now is unpredictable. i never wonder that i am going to have a nephew as he is 2 months old now. yea, he is cute and very active. i also have a girl friend now which we already coupled for almost 8 months. i love her very much. and today was my grandma birthday, and we celebrated at JB. this is the first time i bring her came to JB, to meet with all of my relatives. besides that, this is also the only first time she came to JB. and then, due to working problem, i need to stay at JB for almost 2 weeks to finish my duty here. i need to ask my brother send her back to melaka. in this moment, i feel down actually. i think that, since when, i can try to work without outstation, and be more freedom with what i want in my life. now i think it very clearly, as i don't really like to work outstation. i want to spend more time with family and girlfriend. i just think that, it's already enough for me to work and travel in peninsular of malaysia. and i always plan that, i will consider my self to leave this working place in 2015, and do those things that i wanted. why i will think like that? it's because, i read an article before, don't need hesitate what you think, just do it what you want, because you just work for life, but not let the work control your whole life.

that means, one more year i will remain this job, and after that, try to pursue my future. i never feel regret of thinking about this, because, this is my life, and i should do it what i want and GOD always show me the way of success. never felt sorry to the one that hired you for work, but just will felt sorry for yourself that never pursue your dream when still young. don't think, just do it.

to the one i loved the most, angel^^

thanks for appearing in part of my life. i love you, dear. thanks for becoming the best girl that support me from behind. i promise i will give the best ever for you to become the most happiness girl in the world. ^^

to the one that i am going to say goodbye, but never do so at all

almost a year i think, i never contact to you anymore. since you have new wonderful life, i decided for not finding you, even for just a call, or just say hi. i just dont want think about you anymore, and let my self continously live in nightmare everyday. i cant sleep well every night, since the day you dont want to come out to meet with me. and the more worse is, i cant be cheer up at all, since you decided to break up with me, and then, the most terrible is, i cant become as usual anymore, as you never bother me at all. i always think about, hey babe, can we astarted it all over again? i cant forget everything about you. i really miss you and love you. i need you so much in my life. you are the first and the last for me. i will walk to ur hometown and propose to you when i am ready to do so. etc...


this is what i always told you, and there is so many sweet memories between me and you. but those memories, really hurt me for so long. almost two years i feel suffer that i cant live well. and thats why, almost in two years time, i never celebrate my birthday at all, as during my birthday, you and me have just become a couple. i still remember that night actually. hehe.

anyway, i decided to remove you from my facebook. and then, i decided to change my contact number for not contacting you anymore. i also found that i am not in the part of your life, as i am just a guy that walk by only in your life. i dont know how are you now, but as can be seen, you live very well, and always have someone take good care of you. its great and congratz to you. as you decided to dump me last time, is the best decision ever. you always told to me that you want to have vocation at bali with the one you live. you already did, because that guy wasnt me. you always said you wish can cook together with the one you loved. you did, but that one also wasnt me. you always said you will have a baby with the one you loved. for this, i can be very sure, you will deserve it without me. ^^


as you wish, finally i get the one i loved, as she also love me more, as you did before. she never disappoint me, willing to wait for me, never hurt me, always accompany me in no matter how bad or how good am i. i really love her, and surely will marry her someday. maybe i wish that still will be you but, it could only live in memories. i still remember every night, we could walk until morning, for just because of you cannot sleep and insomnia. i still will miss pochi, our baby dog. i dont know how is she now. just hope that she is fine.^^


i still hesitating should i wish you or not, but its not necessary anymore. i just can wish you right here. good luck for your future. we will never meet anymore, and maybe if someday we meet at which country, i will still just say hi to you. thank you for appearing in my life, and become my first love, and let me learn everything. good bye, is more suitable for me to use it now, as we wont see each other again. take care, Jessica^^

new valentine~

14th april, is black valentine's day, and it's also, the day that i ended my love trauma. in past few months, i always like to chat with a girl, as her name, birthday, and everything that similar with me. she is good girl, kind, tender, cute, and very nice to me. i like her and always like to find her. but the only thing that i didn't do is, to tell her that give me a chance to understand her, and let her more understand me. but 14th april, i did tell her everything. i finally decided to be with her, and until now, i feel back the sweet of love. i never feel regret at all, and always feel that she is much much more better than my previous love. i finally realize, we can't always look behind, as it always hurt, and blocking our way to the front. we should move forward, and everything that come, should be wonderful than behind. so, dear angel, my love, thank god that we met, and i am proudly to tell you here, i love you. ^^

favorite movie ever~

Rocky 4, a movie that was created by sylvester stallone in 1985. what was i like about this movie is, Sly did make every impressive moments, that really unforgettable. this was the only movie that i watched when i was a child until now together with bruce lee's movies. and also, just because of this movie, i feel in love with boxing as the movements and skills was cool. therefore, we should salute all the way the 80's actors completed their movie especially this one. it was absolutely classic and memorable.

again be with you- by Ranger Wong (July 2011)

i tried to format my hard disk. however, i found this inside of my hard disk. thus, it brings back some memories for me. although this song was simple, emotional, too long and bored. for me, it was just some kind of explanation, that how important is she for me that time. i tried to delete it, but, think twice, why don't just i share it right here, and left it here forever.




C G AM F
Verse1

Since the first day I met you and greet with you

I still remember that how wonderful you are

You keep on smiling and it’s really sweet for me

You are beauty in your heart and it’s really catch my heart

I tried all my best to be the best with you

I confess with you and you accept me without hesitation

Pre 1 It’s so sweet that I can be with you

It’s so bitter that the time that we together were short

You told me you were confuse you said that you were guilty

I don’t mind with everything it’s because I love you

You told me that you were lost the love soul inside your heart

Has totally missing and it will never come back again

Chorus:

I want to be with you I miss you and everything about you

I want to start it again be with you that’s my dream


Verse 2

Do you know that that you are inside my heart

Can you feel it it’s because I am pure in love with you

I will be waiting no matter how long it could takes

Even one year two year or ten years and also forever

Even you are so far away I will still wait for you

I don’t mind to be a fool it’s because I love you

Pre 2

You told me another word that could smash my heart

You said that try to open my heart for the other girl that I couldn’t love

How can I do that since I really love you

I will try to get your soul back it’s because I want to be with you

Can you know that I don’t mind to be played by you

I don’t mind that to do everything for you

Chorus:

I want to be with you I miss you and everything about you

I want to start it again be with you that’s my dream



Verse 3

It sounds fool for you I don’t mind to be a fool

Since I fall in love with you and I really want to be with you

You were my first love I want you to be the last

Forever I with you with hold hand until old

time was getting short you are leaving soon

I don’t mind we live in far because our heart will still so near

Pre 3

You can take it all away you can do what you want

I don’t want you leave me because you are important to me

Since everything was complicated since everything was getting bad

I don’t want we become like this I just want to start it all again

Baby please give me a chance let me take your love soul back

Back to our love again and let it all start again

Chorus:

I want to be with you I miss you and everything about you

I want to start it again be with you that’s my dream

Verse 4

When I tried to give up when I tried to forget

I want to forget everything but it still left in my heart

That night I am involving an accident I almost lost my life

In that moment I still remember every sweet memories with you

Since that night was happened I finally decided

I don’t want to give up it’s because I still alive

Last Pre-chorus:


every guy can love thousand women they can but I can’t

I just can use thousand ways to love you and I really will love you

I don’t care you ignore me that less than thousand times

Even after thousand times I will try it in million times to get you back

Chorus:

I want to be with you I miss you and everything about you

I want to start it again be with you that’s my dream

I want to get your love soul back to you and start it all again

I don’t want to give it up it’s because I love you

(I love you~~) F G C

valentines day

14 february, is valentines day, and it's a date that i will never celebrate at all. previously, the first time in my life, i did, and it's precious, but it's also bring the pain to me now. i don't know why, i always dream of her is past few days, and i always feel weird when i wake up. maybe i never feel the pain anymore, but just feel weird about this feeling. i knew that the ending between me and her was not perfect at all because it ended suddenly. it let me feel hurt for so long, and the scar was still left inside me. however, it's already a past. just wish that best thing that already lost, will turned into greatest thing for me in the future. ^^

target

it's already 10 months i worked in this company. i gained a lot of profits in my life since i joined. when i looked back behind, i am really immature for doing everything. but now, i know how to think, and what to do, to improve my self, in the physical of knowledge. i feel thankful to god, as HE arranged me into this company, and let me feel that i never regret that i left singtel last year. i learn what i want to learnt, what i want to gained, and my target has reach as faster as what i expected. running around whole peninsular of malaysia, i already did it within 10 months. and now, the next place is sabah, and my boss is expecting me to incharge the market there. i just accepted his decision without any hesitation, as i am willing to try, and willing to do it for beyond my self.

in this chinese new year, i found that, i am not in mood for celebrating it at all. i just think about, what is my target for next year? purchase a new house for long term, or still working as usual forever? is this really what i want in my life? getting better career in my life, and let it be long term? i still don't know yet. i can feel that this is not what i want yet before 30 years old. it's not because i still want to live in poor, it's because i want to make it perfect first, and then do something special that i want in my target.

anyway, i feel thankful for those that always looked down at me, insulted me, and bully in the past few years. Without most of them, I will never be patience until what I get today with my own bitter passion. It's the great beginning for me in this year and hope that it will be the best of the best in the future. i also know that i never did any wrong decision to decide my own future. althought i lost a lot of best things, but those best things, have turned into greatest things, and most of it was waiting for me to get them. as what best quotes have said, best things gone, greatest things will be back. so, just let time proves it, as the quotes was true. ^^