梦想 dream~

when i was still young now, this is the place that i want to go~ i wish i can do it next year ^^

周杰倫 你比從前快樂

“宅男”

很多年前，我是一名宅男，从来不爱打交道的。见到任何人都好，绝对不打招呼。现在的我，怎样都好，还是为了保持人脉关系，选择了乐观。没错，因为工作上的需要，我得保持乐观的态度，来引起客户的喜爱。这是工作时期的我，反而放工和休假的我呢，还是一名宅男。其实我也不想的吧……可能是，朋友越来越少，也或者是，不忍心让妈妈一个人呆在家里。这几个月以来，我都会很用心地陪伴着她老人家，也不会让她寂寞。就算我出差工作，我还是会打个电话，向她报平安。摆脱宅男，我早就做到了。只是，我没什么喜欢出门罢了。更何况现在的工作，我必须经常出门见客户的。还有的就是，很多朋友羡慕我的工作，也经常认为我像个老板了。拜托啦，我还是背着打工仔的号称来工作的。我经常被客户欺负得很惨，有谁了解呢？我出差的时候，也有谁知道，我超想家的……的确没什么人懂吧，而是我通过这份工作，学习了怎样独立，自习。我也从这份工作，学习了怎么看人格，心里战。压力方面，也不简单了。因为公司的存亡，也得靠着我们去拼。所以说呢，我的压力，谁能了解？自己自彼吧！

stress....

this month, would be the most stressful month for me.....i really wish that i could handle all the things that my boss and managers ordered me to do it. i am getting headache of my self when i am facing with my boss. i felt sorry to him anytime as i still can't prove my self as a great one. this feeling, same as when i was working in singtel....i am the worst one for the beginning, and everyone was looking down to me. this is what i am facing earlier on, until i decided to change, and then everything is getting better. and that's why, i want to bounce back so that i can improve my self. i don't want to be like this forever....i want to be awake from....everything that was disturbing inside my mind... as my previous supervisor in singtel said, clear all the road block in our mind, and face it tough. working is working, personal is personal, we can't mix it together in the same time.



i wish that everything can go through, and no more hesitating exist in my mond. god bless me please~

reality

during college life, i had a lot of best friends, no matter we are old friends, students, colleagues, i never be alone. but since i am graduated, i started my working life, and we are already busy with each other for meet. i had lost contact with many friends for so long. and in this few months, some of us contact again. i don't care too much, but just, i found that, we are not close anymore. most of them was just keep their eye with my money, assets. i feel fed up for sometimes when they are talking too much about their direct businesses, and most of them spoiled our friendships. even sometimes when they are trying to contact me, i will ignore their calls, and never pick up at all.


money, really will changed our friendship status? i really don't get it and sometimes the way their talking will cause me more to avoiding them. anyway, the world is changing, of course i wish that someday, we still will be as close as usual. i hope that nothing worse will be happen in the future.

since.....now....

since i graduated and work, there is no more exam, playing, sports and movies for me.


since i lost everything, i had learnt and let my self to be mature.


since i almost lost my life into accidents, i realize that my family is the best thing in my life.


since i worked in this company, i had learnt how to grow our own business, and relationship with customers.


since i step up into this society life, i found that not every friends can be trusted.

since i lost a lot of friends, i had learnt how to independent.

since i learnt a lot in this company, i had found my own target.


since i lost the one that i really loved, i lost a lot of feeling and ideas.....playing guitar, create songs, storyboard, jokes, smiles, and many things....i don't really want to be in love anymore.... i said that i wish she can be happy with her new relationship...but in reality, i am the one that live in sadness. "you should find a better girl to loved".....i heard this words for so many times, but, i am different with other guys. i am not easy to change my mind, i mean it won't change at all....i never cheat before, never lie before, and this is what i get at last, trauma. i am not a coward that like to hide, just that i don't want to create any trouble, and just respects. i know it's not right to write it here, but, i just write out my fucking feeling right here. maybe some other friends was right, i am just a piece of shirt, that after get wore, and just get dump. should i turn my self bad, and find any other girl to hurt? fuck off this! i prefer accompany my only mother at home, rather than get hurt or hurt any other girls!spending time and money for clubbing? fuck it! i prefer spend my time and money on charity, to help those peoples and kids that need help! promise? go to hell anyway! it's not exist at all o0o


since i always outstation, a lot of things happened. my brother's father-in-law has just passed away, my friend's grandfather that good to me has passed away last month, and his grandmother is in ICU now. my aunty that take care of me when i was 3 to 4 years old, has been admitted to hospital for heart surgery, and my uncle has also been admitted to hospital for operation. this is what i really facing now, and my life is getting sucks!


since i am going to be 22 years old, i will just said, fuck off 21 years old, you never be right at all!



since i wrote this blog, about this topics, i feel better now. thank you, blogger. you are the part of my life now, and just hope that i can prove my self, that i am getting better with the previous "me". ^^

win and lose

in this past few months, i tried hard to catch up everything with my company things and knowledges. however, i found that it's not easy at all. i sacrifice most of my times in outstations, meet customers, and learn everything by slowly with my mind. everytime when i feel want to give up, my boss and managers will give courage to me, and wish that i still can stay tough with this job. actually, what i want to mention right here is, i can learn, but, the mood of learning is not with me now. maybe this is because of something that happened recently, really made me down. everything has just come to me suddenly, and it's really hard for me to accept the cruel reality.


anyway, i don't care about it. i always searching suitable time, to take a nap, so that i can relax my mind, and get prepare for everything. i am not a good salesman, marketer, but what i can do is, i will try hard to provide good service to my customers. for my personal things, okay, i admit that she found her happiness, and i wish that she will be happy always, and i won't spoiled or disturb anymore. this is what i dare to promise, and dare to do for her. i am a loser for everything now, and i really lost many things. but what i can get from this bad experience is, the more things i lost, the more best things i will deserve.^^ i don't care about lose as i was still young now, and i still have a lot of way to go before the end. there is no more "think" in my mind, but "just do it", is always inside my mind. ^^

赵传－勇敢一点

我发现失去一个很重要的东西　
i found that i lost something that important

那一年我想要认识你的一种勇气
the braveness that i want to know you during the year

它让我毫不畏惧的告诉你我的感情
it let my feeling confess to you

如今害怕的思念着每一个过去
right now it let me feel afraid of the memories

失眠已佔据了你走后大部分的时间　
insomnia already full fill the time after you gone

不然这个时候我应该在你的房间
or else i should be inside your room during this time

看着你写给我的第一封和最后一封信　
reading the first and the last letter that you wrote for me

如此的转变用了四年三个月又七天
every transformation like this cost 4 years 3 months and 7 days

chorus: 我试着勇敢一点
i tried to be brave

　 你却不在我身边
but just you are not with me

　我的坚强和自信　
my braveness and confident

是因为相爱才上演
just because of love only will be showed up

我一定会勇敢一点
i surely will be brave

即使你不在我身边
even though you are not with me now

　你的决定和抱歉　
your decision and apologies

改变不了我的明天
can't change my future


勇敢是我今天再也无法面对的事情
braveness is the thing that i can't face

因为面对了勇敢记忆就会没有你
because facing with braveness will cause you lost in my memory

我的虚弱一直提醒着照顾自己　
my weakness always remind to take care of my self

当初如果照顾好你　
if i took good care of you previously

现在也不会被自己放弃
i won't get dump by self right now