decided

after more than a year, i finally decided to do something that i won't do, but i did it now. maybe it's a bit cruel, but i think it for very long time, since it was for my own good. the scar inside heart, should be back to normal now. my birthday has passed, and new life is begin now~^^

month 7

unconsciously, i worked in this company for seven months. what i can describe it right here is, i did what i wanted to do. i hit my sales target per month, improved my knowledge, experience, communication skills, and business skills. my boss and managers, encouraged me to stay in this company because i am the person that they are looking for in the past few years, to handle the south malaysia. my boss is also wish that i can learn everything here to help him, to developed his company into big company in the future. can i do that? i am not sure yet. i knew they are good enough to me, and never let me disappointed before, because they are willing to help me, in no matter how worst is the problem that i was facing.

everyone in this company was really good to me, and i was happy to work at here, if compare with those previous jobs that i worked before. for the first 4 months, i am stress because i didn't perform well, and always didn't reach sales target. i always think about, it's time for me to quit, since i am useless for this company. however, my manager never gives up on me, so do my boss. they still wish that i can continue to perform well. and finally, i tried my level best to achieve the best of the best. i hit my sales target during month five, and i really happy about this. and the next month, i always get a lot of sales that even my manager cant achieve, although i didn't outstation for few weeks. this is what i can see that i really improved my self. although i am not perfect enough for sales, but my service level, i really improved it. i just did what my customers demand, and do it best for them. and this is also the perfect feedback that i achieved from them, fast and perfect.

some of peoples will ask, why i still want to work at here, when my salary was just normal, bad management, tough and stressful. i should get a better job because it's really worthless. okay, i admit it's not worth. my position in this company was sales and marketing executive. but during peak season, i have to work as storekeeper, production worker, transporter, and everything. what is my exact position right here? and how is my pay? i should get a job that with higher paid! but let's think twice, what about if i think to create my own business in the future? is this all worth for me to do, to learn, achieve, experienced, and make it well in the future business of my self. even if i didn't create my own business, and what about if i work in big company in the future, with the experience that i achieve now? of course it will be much more helpful rather than any degree holder.

i am still not sure how long i will still be here, but anyway, i really improved and grew up a lot since i worked here. thank you very much, LIM, FELIX, RYAN, KIM, and JACK. just keep it up!

1117

17th november, when he looked it back on this date, he found that, it's already a past, that he never wanted to think anymore. 2 years ago, a simple guy, with simple mind, dated a girl that he loved, for the only first time, at the beach. he woke up in the early morning, received a message from the girl, she is ready to enjoy this date. both of them feel awkward with each other, while dating on the beach. the wind is getting stronger, and going to blow her away. in the moment, the guy, block the wind and put her on behind, but just only one thing he didn't do, hold her hand, and hug her tight. the girl looked happy while together with him, so do the guy. he sent her back home together with her dog. on the way back to her hostel, he tried to hold her hand, but he was shy to do it. but then, this date, just ended in this way. however, this guy was happy, although it's not perfect enough.

he created a song, that named, "first date", to describe his feeling on this first date to the girl. this was the sweetest memories, as he will never forget, but also it's hurt deeply inside heart, when he looked it behind again. just because, he never wonder, after 2 years, he is alone again, but the girl, is happy with better one. therefore, he always decided to work hard during november in his working life, to cover the sadness and memories behind of him. there is no birthday yet for him, until he can truly forget about the one that let him remember his birthday.

the very first

it's november now, and i found that the time, is passed very fast. it's a good month for me, and it's also contained a lot of memories for me. a friend was asking, "what will you do, if one day you saw your ex-girlfriend alone again, and you still love her again?" i don't know. maybe, i will restart again, or just make it nothing has happened. what i can say about her is, she gave me the sweetest memories, gave me a lot of lessons, and let me understood what is love, and what is the feeling of getting deep hurt. when i think back again, i am the most stupid lover, that don't know how to care about her, talk to her, and i am the worst guy ever.

what can i see nowadays, she is happy, and getting happier, with her new life. this is the main reason, that i will never find her anymore. promise, memories, and everything, have to turned into past tense. i don't know what will happen in the future, but just what i can write here is, i wish that you will be happy always as i like to see. ^^